Editor-in-Chief Katy Sunnassee ponders ADHD, and wonders whether she’s one of the many midlife women who went undiagnosed.
A few years ago, I saw the rise in people talking about ADHD in midlife women and couldn’t help but be sceptical. Surely this was just a ploy to get another subset of the population onto medication?
I thought ADHD was something only fidgety boys had—boys who failed at school because they couldn’t concentrate. This is still the perception of most people if you ask them to describe someone with ADHD.
But two years ago, I began working with Suzy Glaskie, a health coach. In one of our sessions, I was describing my many frustrations at not being able to follow through on tasks—for myself, that is, not for others. If I’m being paid to get a job done, I get it done!
It wasn’t only that. The speed at which I talk, trying to keep up with the rapid thought processes in my brain, also indicated to her that perhaps I may have ADHD. When she suggested it, I was bemused and, if I’m honest, a little offended.
She recommended The ADHD Women’s Wellbeing Podcast by Kate Moryoussef and suggested I interview her. I did, but I was still sceptical. It wasn’t until six months later, when a video popped up on YouTube by some US psychologist, which I watched to the end, that I thought:
“Gosh, this sounds like he’s describing me!”
A New Rabbit Hole
And so began my journey down the ADHD rabbit hole—this time, in earnest.
I binge-listened to Kate’s podcast in typical ADHD fashion. Hyper-focusing on a topic, thing, or person is a common trait. I quickly realised that ADHD was far different from what I’d previously thought.
For one, the hyperactivity element—the “H” in ADHD—doesn’t apply to everyone. It can also be internal hyperactivity.
One of the reasons I’d originally dismissed the possibility was because I excelled academically. Until then, I’d only heard of people who struggled at school having ADHD. So it couldn’t possibly apply to me… or so I thought.
But when I looked back, I realised I’d often forget my textbooks and relied on my organised best friend having hers. I was also described as a daydreamer or “aloof.” My English teacher even wrote it in my school report—I had to look up the meaning!
Later in life, men would describe me as aloof too, including my grandad, who’d joke about me being “aloof of bread.”
I guess I coasted along, daydreaming at times because I didn’t find school that hard. And now I know that the structure of school helped keep me on track.
Top of the Pods
I was then led to the ADHD Chatter Podcast with Alex Partridge. He said he did well at school too, which made me realise that ADHD wasn’t only for fidgety boys.
Even my mum, a primary school teacher, had told me this.
Maybe this “condition,” for want of a better word, was why I had such a scattered mind—which is also the title of a book on ADHD by Dr Gabor Maté.
Then I listened to an episode of The Mel Robbins Podcast, where she talked about her ADHD diagnosis. That was the moment I thought:
“OK, this really IS me.”
I’ve now been researching ADHD for a year. So it’s time to seek a diagnosis—not to prove it to me, but to my husband…
Read about ADHD in midlife, the revelations I’ve had along the way, and why my hubby dismisses it, at katyperimenopause.substack.com, or read past columns here.
