Cook and actor Lisa Faulkner, 52, talks to Gemma Calvert about the power of true friendship, why shared domestic duties are the key to happiness, and her ever-evolving role as a mum.
Words: Gemma Calvert. Images: Gerraint warrington.
Christmas is one of mine and John’s favourite times of the year. In early December, we make our mince pies and Christmas cakes, and all month we have people over and celebrate by eating, drinking, and cooking. Christmas for us isn’t only on December 25; it’s about friends and family, whenever anybody is around.
Both John [Torode, chef and Lisa’s husband of five years] and I cook Christmas lunch, and we’re a good team. We love it, whether it’s just the two of us or 22 people! It’s lovely to cook and get people together. The secret to the best Christmas meal is to think of it as a big roast dinner. The key is not getting too worried about it and for everyone to bring something, so don’t be afraid to ask! People like to be wanted and to bring things even if they’re not cooks. There are loads of shops out there that are brilliant at preparing things for you. Even if you’re bringing crisps and dips, go for it!
A good marriage is about sharing out the responsibilities. John is really domesticated in that he’s much better at cleaning than I am. He’s like a cleaning fairy because he will clean and tidy the kitchen. I’d say I do the day-to-day running of the house because I’m the mum, and there are a lot of things that we juggle much of the time. We keep all the balls in the air, us women. But it’s very equal. I probably do more washing, but we both do the washing, we both do the cooking, we both do the cleaning. It just depends on who’s there, and if somebody’s working, the other person takes on a bit more of that role.
I stay fit and healthy by moving every day, but I’m not a crazy exerciser! Walking is one of my favourite things to do, and if we can, John and I get up and out early. Sometimes we’re quiet, and sometimes we can’t stop talking about family, friends, plans, and food. I also do bits of hatha yoga, whether it’s my sister’s yoga class, just 10 or 15 minutes in the morning or 20 minutes in the afternoon. I don’t like the gym. I’ve previously had lovely memberships where I use the spa and the pool, but I prefer to be at home and use my own bodyweight. The other key to feeling my best is drinking a lot of water and trying to get eight hours of sleep because I’m rubbish with any less!
In my modelling days, we were skinny but not toned. It wasn’t like now where people have six-packs. The 80s and 90s were very different to now. I think these days, nobody ever seems really happy with their body. Everyone always has something to niggle at. We’re all so very mean about ourselves, so I just try to think, “I’m a 52-year-old woman, and I want to look after my body because I want to be in it for a lot longer.” It’s not so much that I care about what my body looks like as what it’s doing. So, I feed it, water it, move it, and look after it. I think that’s part and parcel of getting older. You think, “I’m never again going to be what I was at 20,” but then, I’m not 20! So as long as I’m moving, keeping fit, and keeping strong, that’s all I can do.
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I try to cook pretty much everything from scratch, just like my mum did. She made everything, including her own version of chicken nuggets, which was Rice Krispies chicken. I’d go to friends’ houses, and they’d be having Findus Crispy Pancakes or Birds Eye Beef Burgers, and I’d be so jealous! I’d come home and say, “Why can’t we have these?” and Mum would say, “I make them; that’s just the way it is.” The stuff put in food now to preserve it is awful, including oils and sugars that don’t need to be there. We have a lot more knowledge about food than we did 30 years ago, and knowledge in one way is power, but it can also be a scary thing when you think, “Oh my gosh, what should I be eating?” As long as you’re eating well, and not consuming a load of white processed bread and processed food, and you’re adding fruits and vegetables to your diet, that will serve you well.
I constantly incorporate my mum into our family life. I was 16 when she died [of throat cancer], but 36 years on, she’s in my kitchen, she’s in my recipes, she’s in my food, she’s in my spice rack, she’s in bits of jewellery that I have. At home, we talk about her constantly. Grandma Julie is somebody that I feel my daughter knows really well, and my husband knows well too, even though he’s never met her. She’s constantly there, and I don’t feel that she’s going anywhere.
The biggest perk about ageing is knowing that some people like you and some people don’t, but you don’t need to try to change people’s minds. At 52, I feel a lot more comfortable in my skin, just going with the flow of things and knowing that if I’m not somebody’s cup of tea, then that’s fine. Even when people are vocal about it on social media, if that’s what they want to do, that’s what they want to do. Life’s too short to worry.
For my skin, sometimes I use beautiful moisturisers and cleansers, and I also have shop-bought stuff. I think it’s more the action that’s beneficial than the product you’re using. It’s that investment of time, that moment before bed, just being able to give yourself a bit of a treat. I use a face wash, a moisturiser, and serums, and I moisturise my body every day with whatever product I have. I’m rubbish with hair masks though; I buy them and never use them. What I do use are Stacey Solomon’s Rehab Hair Oil Capsules; I love them. But most of the time, I try not to do too much to my hair apart from having it cut and highlighted.
I’ve just finished laser treatment to help my rosacea, which I’ve had for years. Everyone says your body changes after each seven-year cycle because cells rejuvenate, but for years, nothing changed with my rosacea. It would come and go, and sometimes it was worse than others. I had laser treatment with a lady called Dr Yoo at Maylin Anti-Ageing Clinic in London (maylinjyd.com), and it has really reduced the redness. I also have facials every now and then with Mina Lee (minalee.london). But I haven’t done injectables; it was scary enough having laser treatment!
Adoption is never an easy solution to infertility. Through adoption, you can become a parent, but if anyone’s thinking, “Oh, well, if I can’t have children, I’ll just adopt,” that’s not the way it works. The whole process is really hard. Nobody just gets to adopt a child, especially in the UK. There are vigorous things that you have to go through. Becoming a mother [to adopted daughter Billie, now 18] has been amazing. I realised that motherhood is not about giving birth, growing a child, or seeing a mini you; it’s about nurturing, loving, and being there for a child. It’s a privilege to be a mother.
Time with friends is the best medicine. My two best friends are Angela [Griffin] and Nicola [Stephenson], and we walk weekly, if not daily. We’re so close. We lift each other up, listen to each other, let each other cry, let each other laugh, and celebrate the wins. I think that’s amazing. Again, with Tamzin [Outhwaite], Sarah [Parish], and Amanda [Holden], we’re all very busy, but when we get to see each other, we lift each other up, support each other, and laugh.
John & Lisa’s Weekend Kitchen airs Saturdays from 11.40 am on ITV1 and ITVX. Their debut cookbook John & Lisa’s Kitchen is out now (£25, Quadrille).
