Charlene White on grief, weight-shaming and keeping fit

ITV news anchor, Loose Women panelist and broadcaster Charlene White, 42, chats to Top Santé about grief, weight-shaming, keeping fit and active, and how she looks after her skin.

Charlene White on losing her mum to bowel cancer

Charlene White: ‘My mum passed away at 47 from bowel cancer. I was 21. When diagnosed in her early 40s, there was no indication she would die. She started treatment and hospital visits, and chemotherapy integrated into our lives. I can remember her watching soaps on her portable TV in hospital while I would lie on her bed doing my homework. That was my normal.

‘Mum was diagnosed later than is ideal and, as with so many cancers, early diagnosis is key to survival. She had a lot of chemo and was in remission over the years, but eventually the treatment stopped working.

“You just try to deal with issues yourself, so for a long time I never had that process of sitting and letting go of the grief.”

‘After Mum died, counselling wasn’t something that was discussed. That’s probably more of a cultural thing than anything else. It’s not something Caribbean immigrants are used to doing. You just try to deal with issues yourself, so for a long time I never had that process of sitting and letting go of the grief, and that awful knot that constantly sits on your chest.

‘Grief comes in waves forever, and it reared its head when I realised I was pregnant with my first-born [Alfie, five]. It hit me that I was going to be mothering and motherless, and I was scared of the unknown and how good a parent I could be without her. It became all consuming. I did three sessions of counselling in all and, in my first, all I did for an hour was cry. I’ve not had any counselling since, but I’m not scared to seek it out.

Charlene White on the importance of knowing your body

‘I always look out for changes in my body. At 42, I’m a year younger than my mum was when she was diagnosed. I’ve been tested for bowel cancer once before and I’m now regularly tested for gut health. We all have to be aware of changes in our bodies. For example, if you’ve suddenly lost weight when you haven’t been trying, go and get a blood test to see if everything is okay. If you know and understand your body, that’s how you can save it.

‘To give myself the best chance of not developing bowel cancer, I eat my 5 A Day. I’m aware of the salt and fat content in foods and I’m very mindful of not eating a diet that’s full of fried food and red meat. I eat a lot of lean meats such as chicken and fish and, at work, I’ll always have a lunch of fish or chicken with salad. I try to keep my diet balanced so I eat a variety of foods, and I like my kids to eat that way, too. It’s important that they understand what a healthy diet is from an early age, to take them into a healthy adulthood.

“We all have to be aware of changes in our bodies. If you know and understand your body, that’s how you can save it.”

‘My skin automatically reacts when my body’s going through an unhealthy time. It looks very dull and under my eyes becomes dry and flaky. If my skin is not glowing when I put on my night cream, I’ve not had enough water, I haven’t been outside enough, I haven’t eaten enough green vegetables or fruit, or I’m not getting enough sleep.

‘I wear a lot of make-up for work and, when my body is unhealthy, my skin gets very greasy, the make-up seeps into my skin and disappears, so I have to keep reapplying it. It becomes a vicious circle. During those times, I make sure I drink two litres of water a day, do an exercise class once a week and take half-hour breaks in the fresh air.

Charlene White on keeping fit and active

‘I restarted weight training over the summer. I used weights until I was six months pregnant with my eldest. Since then, I’ve done other forms of exercise including Spinning, but I didn’t get back into weights until the summer, and I now feel so much better within myself. I do bodyweight training in a park, and work out once or twice a week at a weights gym.

‘My weight has fluctuated since I was in my late teens, so training is not about me losing weight. It’s about me feeling strong, and I definitely now feel stronger! I love fitness challenges. I love squatting a particular weight, then the following week trying to smash that barrier. As I lift heavier and heavier, I realise I’m getting stronger. My brain works very well in that way.

“Training is not about me losing weight. It’s about me feeling strong, and I definitely now feel stronger!”

‘I did boxing until I was seven months pregnant. My trainer told me that as long as I wasn’t just starting out when I found out I was pregnant, I could continue doing the exercise I was used to. I wish I had continued boxing in my second pregnancy [with daughter Florence, three] but juggling a job and one child, there didn’t seem to be enough hours in the day to do it.

‘I now box occasionally, and it’s the most amazing thing because I punch out all my stress. More women should do boxing. I was very sporty at school; I did netball, hockey, basketball, volleyball and badminton but, growing up, there were so many exercises that weren’t supposed to be for us, including boxing and weights. It turns out that those exercises are the best for us!

‘I keep mentally sane by scheduling time just for me every couple of months. On that day, I won’t plan my children’s lives, tidy my bedroom or clear my wardrobe. I just sit, which I find really hard to do without feeling guilty – but having time to yourself doesn’t make you selfish, it doesn’t mean you don’t love your children, it just means you need time out.

Charlene White on weight-shaming and confidence

‘I’m comfortable in my skin. A year into starting at ITV, 15 years ago, I was working overnight shifts and an email came through at 10pm with “Your weight” in the subject line. The email said, “You can’t fail to notice that you’re bigger than other news presenters. It’s something that you need to deal with. It’s unacceptable that you are the size you are”.

‘I was so upset and it made me compare myself to other people, which, of course, is very unhealthy but I couldn’t help but look at myself and think, “I’m disgusting”. With age and confidence, I’ve learned to tolerate communication such as that. I’m good at my job, irrespective of what I look like. Comments about my weight now don’t bother me.

‘Every day, I take probiotics, a skin, health and nail vitamin, and use a vitamin D spray. When you have darker skin, you have more melanin [than people with lighter skin] and, more often than not, lack vitamin D. The truth is, none of us gets enough vitamin D, especially if we work in an office, as I do.

“I’m good at my job, irrespective of what I look like. Comments about my weight now don’t bother me.”

‘I don’t think I look my age. I’ve got dark skin so my ageing process is slower compared to those who are Caucasian, but a black skin specialist told me that, although my skin may not look as though it’s ageing on the outside, it is underneath so still needs care.

‘I now use a lot of Exuviance products, which contain SPF and high levels of retinol, which help combat pigmentation. My favourite body moisturiser is a multi-purpose oil by an independent brand called Líha, which I apply straight after a shower. It smells gorgeous and feels very luxurious.

‘I come from a large family, and the best thing about Christmas is catching up with them all. When Florence was three months old, I hosted 22 people for Christmas! That was a throwback from not having Mum around because she would always host large numbers. It was lovely! Reconnecting with family is good for my health. When I’m around cousins who treat me the same way as they did when I was 15, it help affirms who I am.’

Words: Gemma Calvert | Photography: Michael Ajibade

Our December issue is on sale now. Click here to order your copy online and get it delivered direct to your door – with free postage and packing!